Extra Marital Affairs ( Good Humor Must Read And Forward )
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Extra Marital Affairs
The 1st Affair:
�
A married man was having an affair with his
secretary.
One day they went her place and made love all
afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.
�
The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take
his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.
He put on his shoes and drove home.
�
"Where have you been?" his wife demanded.
"I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm
having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon."
�
"You lying bastard!
You've been playing golf!"
�
The 2nd Affair:
�
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but
always talked about having a son.
They decided to try one last time for the son they
always wanted.
�
The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby
boy.
The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his
new son.
�
He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever
seen.
He told his wife, "There's no way I can be the
father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you
been fooling around behind my back?"
�
The wife smiled sweetly and replied, "Not this
time!"
�
The 3th Affair:
�
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her
husband opening the front door.
"Hurry," she said, "stand in the
corner."
�
She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him
with talcum powder.
"Don't move until I tell you," she said.
"Pretend you're a statue."
�
"What's this?" the husband inquired as he
entered the room.
"Oh it's a statue." she replied. "The
Smith's bought one and I liked it so much I got one for us, too."
�
No more was said, not even when they went to bed.
Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen
and returned with a sandwich and a beer.
�
"Here," he said to the statue, "have
this. I stood like that for two days at the Smith's and nobody offered me a
damned thing."
�
The 4th Affair:
�
A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered
a beer.
"Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent."
�
"One Cent?" the man thought.
He glanced at the menu and asked, "How much for
a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?"
�
"A nickel," the barman replied.
"A nickel?" exclaimed the man.
"Where's the guy who owns this place?"
�
The bartender replied, "Upstairs, with my
wife."
The man asked, "What's he doing upstairs with
your wife?"
�
The bartender replied,
"The same thing I'm doing to his business down
here."
�
The 5th Affair:
�
Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.
He looked up and said weakly, "I have something
I must confess."
�
"There's no need to," his wife replied.
"No," he insisted, "I want to die in
peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your
mother!"
�
"I know, I know," she replied. "Now
just rest and let the poison work."
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